Here it is, our inaugural Xmas wish list! Peep what the AIAIAI employees would like to unwrap on Christmas Eve.
We’re a greedy bunch of buggers here at AIAIAI HQ. You would think that in times of financial crisis, we would try to curb our spending habits and gift cravings, but as you’re about to find out that’s actually pretty far from being the case. It’s Christmas and we want more, more, MORE! And now we’ve decided to flaunt this unbridled greed for all to see.
What this essentially means is that the AIAIAI employees have compiled a list of Xmas wishes for your viewing pleasure. Will Kasper get his winter jacket? And LO his multifunctional shovel? The answer, my friends, is blowing through the AIAIAI ventilation system. Only time – and Santa – will tell.
But enough of this precious rambling. Without any further delays and complications, here’s an assortment of material objects that we’d like to find under the Christmas tree when we dive under the pine branches with an unhinged look in our eyes and laugh maniacally while foaming greedily at the mouth. Enjoy!
Kasper is a famous rock star here in Denmark. He plays in a band called Spleen United, which you can check out here. No wonder, then, that his wish involves something that’s so trendy and with-it that Copenhipster probably won’t mention it until a year from now.
CP Company Jacket
Mikael is originally from Canada and for reasons unknown to us his name is spelled with a K like in Kool and the Gang or 'Oldskool'. He runs faster than a speeding bullet, runs our website with an iron fist and ocassionally calls us 'tebreve' (tea bags) when he means to pronounce it 'tabere' (losers). This watch will no doubt help him run faster and when he's annoyed with us tea bags, he can just check out his watch and shut us out.
We don 't really know if young Andy wants this cap and frankly we don't care. It looks like one of those old Supreme caps you can't get anymore, just plain rules and when you're not actually here you don't get to choose your own gift and that's that.
Norse Hektor Hawaii Cap
When asked about the particulars of his somewhat understated wish, LO matter-of-factly said: ‘Because it makes a lot of sense. ‘ and: ‘if it looks right, it’ll fly right’. LO also says that he’s a rather tall man, which makes the ‘easy-to-install add-on handle’ a welcome addition to his shovel. He doesn’t have to bend down as much, you see. If you say so, LO. Onwards with the list!
Jakob has a seedy, handlebar moustache and a heart of gold. Two things you wouldn’t necessarily think go together. And maybe they don’t. You see, for Christmas, Jakob wants a toy helicopter that he can control with his mind. This makes us think he’s slightly confused.
Jakob, a mind-controlled helicopter is what we all want. But it’s not something you admit to people.
Rafael would like nothing better than to own this functional bag made by our friends over at UnitPortables. He says that:’it looks really cool’ and that he ‘wishes it was Christmas right now!’ Settle down, Rafael. We’re guessing it would go well with his moustache, fixie bike and Nike Free Runs. Yes, Rafael is one of those guys.
Out of all the Christmas wishes that were sent to me, Lea’s is the one that made the most sense; she needs the Wake-up Light to get to work on time in this country where it’s basically dark until 8.30 in December. Lea is originally from Germany and thinks that the Danish winter darkness gets a bit much. Actually, I want that Wake-up Light too, if anyone out there is thinking of getting Lea one.
Mix has had a bit of trouble making his mind up. Maybe the pressure of Xmas has been getting to him because one day he wants the Soft Hercules and the other it’s this Cosby sweater-knitting machine. What’s next, Mix, a karaoke machine with Pearl Jam’s greatest hits on the hard drive?
Ulrik, the editor of our blog and all-round oracle of everything music, has lately been tormented by the unrelentless amount of requests from his loving colleagues to constantly write blog-posts on this and that, and the other. There is no rest for Ulrik, which is why his biggest wish for Christmas is a fast-typing and chain-smoking helper monkey.
He's not going to it get though, those apes are expensive, but perhaps he'll get a framed vintage picture of a customer-service chimp to hang behind his bulky head?
According to Jacob, the SWITL is extremely useful for picking up ketchup and mustard. But ‘useful’ might be the wrong word. It’s a nano, sci-fi machine that picks up any given stain and is furthermore able to put it down again so that it looks EXCACTLY LIKE IT DID before you picked it up. Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space. If we had this in our kitchen, there would be no more arguments over who failed to clean up after using the juicer. Hat tip: Felipe Lima
Young David has from a tender age had a certain fascination with old, depraved men like Lemmy from Motörhead, the stepdad from Danish drama series ’Everyone loves Debbie’ and chain-smoking, French, misanthropic author, Michel Houellebecq. David is our resident Tom Waits who wears a dented hat, drives a tiny bike that’s called ‘Vaterland’ and exudes a Kerouac-ish vibe, which is why this drawing of Houellebecq will complement the steez he’s got going.
In all honesty, we can’t really tell if Adam is kidding and, if that’s the case, exactly which way he’s kidding in. Maybe this joke is so advanced that our minds are having trouble comprehending the magnitude of it. Or perhaps Adam just heard of the Keyboard Cat a year too late. Then again, it just might be the case that Adam AKA General Hatemsok really wants a Keyboard Cat for Xmas? We’ll leave it up to our readers to decide.
That concludes our Xmas list. Merry Xmas, and to all a happy New Year!